Okay so by the time I write this, it's exactly one week left until I'll board a plane to England and won't come back. At least not for a while.

Maybe you've already read it here, maybe you're new and haven't, but that doesn't matter really. Because even if no one will read it I still have to write it, because the surreal level of this is pretty high right now.

I'm moving to England in a week. To a borough called Torbay in the south west county of Devon, where I'll study for (hopefully) three years. But I'm going to start with this first year to see what the frick I've gotten myself into. The purpose of this slightly spontaneous blog post was mainly just to give you - and myself - a little update about this whole thing. And to share some thoughts that have been keeping me company lately. The first one is pretty simple;

Nothing at all. And no, I don't mean it in a dramatic and philosophic emo kind of way, but in a what-is-going-on-please-help-me-way. I simply just don't get it. And it's a bit scary actually, knowing that all your friends have gone back to school and their lives keep moving on and you're just sitting there in your room, asking about their day and staring at the freakishly large suitcase, whose lack of content adds itself to your mental to do list.


I'm one of those very human kind of humans. Change freaks me out, and that's literally what everything's done lately. Even if I don't fully get what I'm about to do, it still feels like the end of something. Not my childhood really, but up until now everything has, regardless of small changes, been the same. It has always been my same old house, same parents, basically the same friends, same bus, same grandma, same town, same meatballs. But what'll happen when those kind of things won't be around anymore?

Those things have always been like a safe ground for me. Not having them in my everyday life equals telling me the world is shaped like a pineapple and the clouds are actually giant cats (let's just face it; we are all thinking about the same picture right now). Or something like that. I'm terrible at putting feelings into words when it come to this so I'm sorry if I just unintentionally lied to you. :(
But it's the exact same feeling you have when you wake up after a nap, not knowing where you are or what's going on. Imagine living with that constant feeling for weeks, and you get what my summer break has been like.

Don't get me wrong - I'm crazy excited about this. And I'm sorry if I make it sound like I'm an ungrateful, spoiled little brat. I'm really not. I know this is an amazing opportunity that I've got and I'm so incredibly thankful that my parents are so supportive. To me this is a huge deal, and I think no one can really blame me for being a bit scared.


But one of the things I'm looking forward to the most is definitely the fresh start I'm going get. I feel like I need it right now as well, so it's very convenient that I'm going to leave the country soon and move in with a new family (which by the way is the loveliest people ever, couldn't be happier with my host family) and start a new school and meet new people and grow as a person and allow myself to be happy and all that. I'm sure this will be great, especially after I've processed it a little.

I'm also going to keep this blog updated from now on. I have an idea about how I want this little space of mine to be, and lately I've learned that I actually don't have to do everything the way I expect people wanting me to do it. For a while I actually believed that I'd lost my personality completely, but apparently it still exists so I'm quite happy about that. One of my personal goals that I've set for myself is to start doing things the way I want to do them. And it is with this mind setting that the world suddenly appears to be so much bigger. And in colour. And brighter. I'm looking forward to start doing things this way, and my blog is definitely on my priority list when it comes to that. I'll do better this time, and I have a good feeling about it. :)

My beautiful friend Mica and I had a little photoshoot a while ago, and it was themed Alice in Wonderland (ahmahghad how original). Even though blogger really poops on the quality, I really like how some of the pictures turned out! And Mica is just the cutest little sdfghjgf, thank you for being my model. Since Mica is so fabulous in every photo, there's a lot of good pictures I want to show you but it takes a while to edit (since I most of the time don't know what I'm doing) so part 1 will only contain of these 3. I'll try to post the other parts as fast as I can!

But until then, be sure to leave a comment what you think about these and help a confused little idiot by giving me some constructive criticism about what I can do to improve my basically non-existing photoshop skills. I was supposed to upload one more photo but I literally named it "poop" on my computer because that's what it was. But yeah, here you go:

Here are the rules:

1. Post a picture of the Sunshine Award
2. Post 11 random facts about yourself
3. Answer 11 questions from the nominating blogger
4. Link back to the blogger who nominated you
5. Nominate 11 wonderful bloggers, that you feel bring sunshine to the blogging world. (Be sure to notify them)
6. Write 11 questions for your nominated blogger:

11 random(-ish) facts about me:

1. Who's your favorite actor?
- Ehm... Is it too mainstream to say Johnny Depp? Yes? Well then I say Jennifer Lawrence.

2. Who's your role model?
- I don't really have one specifik role model, but several things in different people that I admire. My friends above anything! Although the swedish blogger Elin Kero has for many years now been a person I admire lots. I also really look up to the youtuber Louise (SprinkleofGlitter)!

3. Favorite band/singer?
- Paramore is a band that is close to my heart and we share a long and beautiful relationship. Twenty One Pilots is also some of my newer babes, together with Sleeping At Last, Fun. and Radical Face.

4. What do you like to do most?
- Oh this is going to sound very hippie and philosophic, but taking night walks is seriously the best. I'm glad I live on the countryside where no one can see me, because I probably look really stupid with my head constantly turned up towards the sky and several times stopping, spinning around, sitting down, smiling like an idiot etc etc. I just really love starry nights and it makes my inspiration go crazyyyyyyyy (in a good way).

5. Where do you desire to travel?
- I actually really want to go to Verona in Italy right now. That or like... Japan. But I always want to back to Japan.

6. Are you comfortable with your look?
- I guess I'm neither comfortable nor unhappy with my looks. Of course I wouldn't mind being a bit prettier, and I wouldn't consider myself that good looking for that matter either, but I just don't care that much most of the time. My face and body is just there, and I'm instead more concerned about what's inside my head. For me that's much more important.

7. What is your favorite animal?
- How about Alpaca?

8. Do you have weird habits?
- Is there an insect in my room - I'll kill it. I just have to. It needs to burn in hell. I also always have to make my bed.

9. What languages do you speak?
- Swedish, English and a bit of German and Japanese. Nothing too exceptional though.

10. Favorite TV-show?
- HOW DARE YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE??? My series are my babies, mama can't pick a favorite. (Game of Thrones.)

11. Favorite Item you own?
- My Nintendo 64. It's fabulous and amazing, nothing in our house works as good as that console. It's like the gaming version of a Nokia - it's unbreakable.

My questions for those I'm nominating:

1. What would the theme song of your life be?

Bloggers I nominate:

PositivePastel
Taka Silhouette

Ehm.. it feels like no one is blogging anymore these days so anyone who's reading this can feel free to be nominated by me hehe. Sorry, I'm so lonely. :(